words: Bill, photos: Double Yikes
Well we’re back with the Please Do Not Buy Holiday Gift Guide Number 2. If you missed Part 1, you can punish yourself HERE. Let’s just dive right in, shall we?
Audi S-line quattro Gift T-shirt
I’ll give these guys credit but not my credit card. As someone pointed out to me, what happens if you tuck this shirt in? Will the tip of the gecko’s nose poke out of your pants? Is that a gecko in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Find it here for $27.
Audi Logo A-Line Dress
Say you’re going out on the town and you need something fancy to wear. You could pick your $8,990 Tom Ford sequined evening gown but it doesn’t show your Audi devotion so you choose…this. This is the Audi A-Line dress (I guess it’s the S line of the fashion world?). If you fancy this, it’s yours for $46.45 HERE
Audi Dad Hat
Ok…this one has to be my ‘favorite’. It’s called the Audi Dad Hat because it’s got to be a joke (dad joke, get it?). Look at how many sets of Audi rings are on this thing…it looks as if someone shoved a bunch of them into a shotgun and fired it at the hat. I lost count at the 1,037th set of rings. Yours for $12 (!) down from $20 HERE
Bleeker and Mercer Punischer Sequin Racing Shirt
When you want to SPARKLE at the racetrack, this sequined shirt is perfection. From the PUNISCHER ‘Porsche’ logo to the various logos including our beloved Audi, this shirt will be the talk…behind your back. And speaking of backs, I feel the designer totally missed out on the opportunity of adding more logos by not utilizing all the blank space on the back. And another question…wht the hell is 1994 upside down? Yours for $88 (down from $100) HERE.
Club Foreign Two-Tone Performance Racing Jacket
If being a member of Audi Club North America isn’t enough for you, you can join Club Foreign with this members (not) only jacket. Pink and black with logos from the German Big Four plus sub logos on the sleeves. High performance with the emphasis on high. Yours for a cool $100 (down from $139) HERE.
Audi Racing Hat
While not as festooned with logos as the hat above, this racing hat still manages to cram in a bunch including my favorite Line Power. An autograph is included…can anyone make it out? Is it Cobweept? Any way, listed for
$48 $27 HERE.
3D Audi Eagle T-Shirt
Nothing quite says AMERICA! BLEEP YEAH! like a bald eagle in front of an explosion with Audi rings in its claws. So when you have that feeling of What You Gonna Do When Hulka(Audi)mania Runs Wild on You?, wear this t-shirt. $19 HERE
Audi Special Leather Jacket
Here’s another item just slathered in Audi goodness. No less that 4 sets of rings and huge AUDI logos down the sleeves and across the back…just in case someone was confused which OEM you align with. This jacket (?)…hoodie (?) can be yours for $199.99 or $99.99 with $100 off. What a deal! HERE
Audi Hello Kitty Decal
Ok…this is just adorbs. Let’s end this gift guide with just the cutest Audi item out there…a Hello Kitty decal. What could possibly be wrong with putting this on your RS 5 Sportback (which we are giving away as one of your choice of three vehicles in our Sweepstakes)? Only $8 HERE
Well I hope you had fun as we traveled down this road. All of this was done tongue-in-cheek. There is a big dull world out there full of Audi “merchandise” and if this is well received, we may do more. Do check out each new issue of quattro Magazine as we do a series of serious Audi swag and parts (Choice Gear, Choice Scale Models, and Choice Parts & Accessories). Oh and don’t forget to get your entries (you can click on the gif below) for the Audi Club Sweepstakes where you can win your choice of either an RS 5 Coupé or an RS 5 Sportback or an Audi e-tron. Good luck and Happy Holidays!